The Art of Talking to Anyone ... including conversational prayer

by Dale Shumaker

4spirit@gmail.com

The Art of Talking to Anyone by Rosalie Maggio has good advice on conversational people skills for any situation. The book covers general conversation principles plus how to talk to anyone in the workplace, meetings and conferences,  business-social events, public places, the telephone, in times of trouble, family and friends and romantic encounters.

To succeed in any conversation, start to finish:

Decide you want to go to an event/place and be convinced of the reasons for doing it.  Have something to say.

Take your best self with you.
People will catch and mirror your emotional states. Remember people tend to behave as you expect them.

Check out your body language.
Your posture... stand up straight, sit up straight. Avoid blushing, facial contractions, fiddling, crossing arms, clearing throat a lot and blinking too much.

Smile frequently to meaningful comments. A good smile works miracles used well.

When introducing someone to someone else, add how you know them. "We worked on a project together."  "He's my neighbor and makes the best home made pizza."

Shaking someone's hand will give the person the first impression of you. So work on a good handshake. Be the first to reach out your hand to shake the other persons. Avoid the finger grabbing handshake, and reach back to the web between the thumb and index finger. Be firm, hold for a second and look directing into the person's eyes.

Basic conversational principles.
1. The goal of the first few seconds of someone you don't know is to find a few things out about the other person, tell a few things about yourself, find some common ground between you. When you find common ground build on it.

2. A conversation should be back and forth. Not short quips like a tennis match, but more like golf. One hits the ball and the other comments on it, and back to the other person.

3. Vary the contributions to the conversation. Make a statement, ask a question, offer a piece of information about yourself, ask something(not too personal) about the other person. Use this as a pattern to go over and over again, and you will see a nice conversational flow.

4. A frequent way to start is to ask about a person's work, or if not special activities they are part of. Set the tone by sharing some things about yourself, they can then match it to their own life.

5. Use the "you" word more than "I".  "How did you get into this type work?"  And with other people as part of the conversation, bring the other person in too by asking them a similar question. Try to be a moderator when more than one is in the conversation and bring someone into it who may not speak as much.

6. When someone brings up a subject you don't know much about, it is a good time to get them to share more or elaborate. "Honestly, I don't know much about gardening, tell me more about what goes into it." Most people love to explain what they do and love doing. So it's a great time to let them tell you the intricacies about it.

7. Use details, precise descriptions, colorful nouns when explaining something. For example instead of just saying I'm a chef, go on to say for whom, and what you are good at preparing, and why you like it. Think about details of what you do and analogies you can use so others understand it.

8. Try to establish a feeling you are on the same wavelength. It's finding that common ground and building on that.

9. Pick up the other person's rhythm of speech and speak in the same way and style.

10. Match posture and mannerisms the other person uses.

Use touch to connect stronger.
A handshake with a hand tapping the shoulder as you release a handshake. Touching the side of the arm as you speak. Tap on the shoulder as you depart. Or in some cases a squeeze on the upper forearm to show appreciation.

Ending the conversation
Always express appreciation for the time to talk, and make a reference to something said.

Listening
This is the most important part on your part.
Listening is showing you are interested by being attentive, nodding or saying "ah-hah" occasionally. Keeping good eye contact, but not a fixed stare.  Model the other person... smiling, frowning, laughing when they do. Repeat back to them what they said in your own words so they can clarify it, if it is not what you wanted them to hear.

Keep the conversation moving with conversation fillers... phrases such as "and then what, oh, no kidding, how did that go, who, how does that work..."  It shows you are listening and encouraging more. Ask probing, expanding, clarification questions.

Asking good questions are important in a conversation. Bad questions are judgmental, or aggressive, intrusive, numerous, too broad, why, or something too personal. Good questions relate to what the other person just said, help you find the all important common ground, move the conversation along, lead to more detailed answers, are sensitive and neutral and concrete. When a person asks a bad question, divert to a question that a lot ask you that you want to answer, or have another story in your belt to tell them. "First, let me share a story with you."

Rosalie Maggio continues on in her book to give guidance on telling jokes, dealing with conversation predicaments, being an unpopular conversationalist; and she explains the specifics of conversing in the workplace, meetings and conferences, business social events, public places, telephone, friends and romance.

More from Rosalie at 

http://www.rosaliemaggio.com/

How to have a conversation with God. Prayer is actually a conversation with God. Rosalind Rinker wrote a book on Conversing with God. It has become a prayer classic It is also posted free online at 

http://www.ccel.us/prayer.toc.html

She has an excellent easy-to-do outline on making a person's devotional life very rewarding in being in God's Spirit.   Here's her method. 

There are several practical points which may help you to make this practice of secret prayer part of your daily life.
1. Have a definite place to pray alone. Every time you pass that place, whether it is by a chair, or your bedside, an unused room, a little closet, your desk or your car, you will be reminded that both physical and spiritual refreshment await you there.
2. Anticipate meeting One who loves you in a personal intimate way. Before you arrive at this special place, let your mind constantly say, "I am going to meet Him, I am going to be consciously aware of Him." After you are there, say: "Here in this quiet place, He can show me Himself. I am His. I can put aside all else and worship You, my Lord, and my God."
3. Let your prayers be semi-audible. You are speaking to a Person, and hearing your own voice will keep your thoughts centered on Him, although sometimes there will be only deep unspoken torrents of love and adoration welling up from within.
4. Use a daily devotional book, and use some kind of study book to give you needed direction in your daily Bible reading. Have a modern translation study Bible close by for reference. (Note: the internet has several Bible Translation websites online. This are free, including the whole Bible.)

We need to learn the art of conversation. We need to learn to pray in His Presence, and to let Him speak with us, to be in tune with Him until we are willing to hear what He has to say to us. For more on prayer visit the Facebook, Biz Prayer Network.

Conversing with God ... naturally talking to God

by Dale Shumaker 

4spirit@gmail.com 

Conversing with God by Rosalind Rinker outlines some very practical guidelines on making prayer a very natural "conversation" with God. Below are several excerpts from her book. The complete book is at
http://www.ccel.us/prayer.toc.html

The term "conversational prayer" is not an unusual one. Neither is it original. I've found many groups of young people and adults using this direct, honest approach to God. Yet the word “conversation” needs a fresh defining.
  What is conversation?
  It is a method which should provide communication between two or more people. Unfortunately, it is usually listed among the lost arts of today.
  To understand conversational prayer, it will be a great help if we get the following four points about real conversation clearly in our minds.
  1. When we converse, “we become aware.” Aware of the other person, his rights, his privileges, his feeling, and if we converse long enough, his total personality.
  2. Good conversation implies that we must take turns and do it gracefully. When one person does all the talking we call it (if we are polite) a monologue.
  3. Finally, it should be clear that to converse we must all pursue the same subject, and pursue it by turns. We are, in a sense, the listening and speaking members of a team. We have agreed to agree upon our subject of conversation, and to do this each one must decide what is relevant and important at the moment.

4. To carry on a conversation of any significance or interest, each person must use his memory to recall, his patience to wait, his alertness to jump in, his willingness to get out, and above all his capacity to hold back the disruptive. In other words, he should be in tune.

There are several practical points which may help you to make this practice of secret prayer part of your daily life.
1. Have a definite place to pray alone. Every time you pass that place, whether it is by a chair, or your bedside, an unused room, a little closet, your desk or your car, you will be reminded that both physical and spiritual refreshment await you there.
2. Anticipate meeting One who loves you in a personal intimate way. Before you arrive at this special place, let your mind constantly say, "I am going to meet Him, I am going to be consciously aware of Him." After you are there, say: "Here in this quiet place, He can show me Himself. I am His. I can put aside all else and worship You, my Lord, and my God."
3. Let your prayers be semi-audible. You are speaking to a Person, and hearing your own voice will keep your thoughts centered on Him, although sometimes there will be only deep unspoken torrents of love and adoration welling up from within.
4. Use a daily devotional book, and use some kind of study book to give you needed direction in your daily Bible reading.

We need to learn the art of conversation. We need to learn to pray in His Presence, and to let Him speak with us, to be in tune with Him until we are willing to hear what He has to say to us.
  There is an intimate relationship between the Shepherd and the sheep which is always initiated by the Shepherd Himself. But there is something for the sheep to do when he enters the fold. He has to be willing to hear and respond to the Shepherd's voice. Frequently we need the help of one or two other "sheep" who already know His voice in order to make our response a complete
one. We need to learn to pray with one another. We are all sheep of His pasture, and we need to be together.
  But more is involved than merely being willing to pray together.

When part of a group, here is a method to consider.
“Instead of going around the circle, let's remember consciously that the Lord Jesus is right here, in the center of this circle with us. He promised, “where two or three are gathered, there am I.” Speak directly to Him, simply, honestly, just as we talk to anyone in whom we have real confidence. Say 'I' when we mean I, and 'we' if we mean the whole group.”
  “Another important thing is to pray by subjects. If someone starts to pray for someone, two or three of the rest of you feel perfectly free to pray for him, too. Be direct and simple. Then wait a moment before introducing a new name. The Spirit will guide us. You can each pray four or five times if you want to, but keep to one subject at a time, and pray back and forth. As we open our hearts, the Holy Spirit will guide us concerning who to pray for, what to pray for and when to pray."
 
  "Now remember, the Lord is here. We are speaking to Him. Pray in short sentences, and then let someone else have a chance. He will guide us."
Keep in mind,  when we pray, to whom are we really speaking?
 

Talking to People You Don't Know ...but you can know them

by Dale Shumaker

4spirit@gmail.com

How do you talk to people you don't know? In an article by Susan Krauss Whitbourne,
she shares how to be successful with small talk. She takes her insights from what
she has learned in therapeutic psychology. If we follow her ten points, in any occasion
we will be effective in relating to people, having them trust sharing with us and being
more truthful with us.

1. Listen. When we first meet people, we feel we need to talk, but the best first
step is to listen. Listen first, talk second. Don't worry so much about what
you say, but what the other person is saying. So come prepared with some good
open-ended initial questions.

2.Be emphatic and reflect what they say. Tell people what you are hearing them
say. This way they know you are listening, and it gives the other person a chance to clarify
what they said so you don't make the wrong judgement on what they said.

3. Pay attention to their body language. Did something you say make them feel
uncomfortable? Be ready to back off a line of conversation if they pull away from you.
People would rather not talk about some things. Move on to a new path if you sense this.

4. Avoid making snap judgements. Follow points one to three above and you will
avoid your own mental miscues. There may be a lot more to the story that will
create understanding if you know the whole story. In a short conversation, you
may not get all these necessary details.

5. Be somewhat of a behavior profiler. If you know you will be meeting someone,
try to get some background on them, so you can ask some questions they will enjoy
answering.

6. Don't assume people will agree with you. Social psychology has shown many of
us in a conversation will assume the other person agrees with us, before knowing them.
Keep things open ended as much as possible and ask questions first. Go with the
flow and show some understanding to their point of view.

7. Try to learn from each interaction with a person. By asking questions and asking
a person to clarify what they said, it opens them up to share more information.
By being inquisitive and probing, without opinion, it opens doors lo learn from
your conversation.

8. Stay on top of news, current events and unusual events in the world...
places where we have common knowledge. This is the easiest place to start. By
being open we can learn from others' perspective on things, and find out more
of their true philosophies on things.

9. When not to talk.  When on public transportation, waiting for a flight, or some
other neutral environment, some prefer not to talk. Observe to see if they are open.
If you get eye contact once in a while, may mean they are open to chat. Respect places
where others prefer their privacy. Even at social gathers, some are reluctant to talk
very much.

10. Don't over share. Sharing too much personal information too soon may make the
other person feel uncomfortable with you. Love affairs, medical conditions, personal
disputes may seem to be too intimate information for others. When you share negative
things, it creates a feel you are a complaining type person, or just a negative person.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., has written The Search for Fulfillment
and you find more from her at her website:
http://www.searchforfulfillment.com/

A classic example on talking to people you don't know was when Jesus was talking to the Samaritan woman at the well.

One quality of Jesus was He knew people. The Scriptures said He knew all man's thoughts. In the case of the woman at the well, she was bewildered that a Jew would talk to a Samaritan. It was forbidden back then, so it was an unusual situation. She was very shocked by what Jesus already know about her and went back to her people to tell them, "this man told me everything about me." Everyone was so impressed they invited Jesus to come stay with them for a while.

This is the goal of communication... to get people to want to spend some more time with us. If they feel we know them, it opens up the door of acceptance. 

Jesus also knew the motives of men. When some questioned Him, He knew if they were sincere or trying to trap Him.   As we hear in a court trial, leading questions would be thrown out for trying to lead the witness. Some questions asked Jesus were leading questions. The questions were to trap Him in a statement they would hold against him, not for sincere discovery of what He was about.

Where did Jesus get this ability? Jesus said He only tells what the Father tells Him. In the times off alone in prayer He was able to hear from God on the specifics He would be dealing with that day, and how to handle them. He knew every one's heart and who was trying to entrap Him.

If people feel we are on to their evil intentions, it will cause them to back off from doing harm to us.

We can get the same insight in times of prayer, refection, allowing the thoughts of the Holy Spirit to enter our minds. Keep the listening process in place to sort out what God's Spirit is communicating to us.

What we call prayer is really this Divine time of Divine Communication. It's a time of presenting problems, asking for solutions, and taking what is impressed on us as Divine Direction.

The Scriptures encourage us to be still before God. In the middle of the night, both late night, early morning, we can hear when in the stillness around us. Make those times sacred to hear the impressions of Spirit sent through our minds. Trust those times as hearing from God, a sacred time of His time to speak to us. When we cultivate those, we continue to hear His directions, thoughts, impressions throughout the day. Start in faith, trust, and obey what is  transmitted to Spirit to you. Act in faith that they are insights from the Holy Spirit for you.

The Holy Spirit is the creator of all things. Listen, respond and know how to speak to all men. The Spirit also gives us favor with people so they will listen to what we have to say. 

Why Work for Heaven ... Its Rewards

by Dale Shumaker

4spirit@gmail.com

What is Heaven like? 

Why would we look forward to building for Heaven
and put all our energies into that future instead our future on earth?
What makes Heaven so attractive,
so that we would want to spend our earthly time working for this reward,
more than the rewards and recognitions earth can bring?

Catching a Glimpse of Heaven by E. M. Bounds gives us a sneak preview.

Heaven is a place, according to E. M. Bounds. it's a tangible state with local inhabitants. It has a rare charm, a place of comfort and strength. Heaven has no tenants, everyone will be property owners. After our resurrection, we will have bodies made just for Heaven. The whole purpose of Jesus and His resurrection and people seeing Him in His new body, was to give us hope for our own resurrection. We will have bodies like Jesus and some say, we will be at our prime, our most appealing age... a Heavenly age. We will have houses to live in. When absent of our present earthly bodies, we have the assurance we will be at home with the Lord.

Heaven is stable, breath-takingly attractive, and enduring forever. Nothing will wear out. All plants, flowers, streams will be fresh forever. With its matchless, exquisite beauty, it will always be incorruptible and undefiled. It is a kingdom. Blessed are the poor in Spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Heaven is His, a dwelling place and it receives its glory from the Father. Earth cannot rival heaven. Heaven is filled with harmony, beauty and ecstasy. Earth is not safe, but Heaven is. On earth thieves steal, in Heaven no treasures are lost. The remarkable thing is we can lay up treasures for Heaven, and have them waiting for us when we get there. We will never lose those treasures.

Jesus emphasized Heaven. The Kingdom of Heaven is referred to over 40 times in Gospel of Matthew. Heaven is the Heart and Soul of  every being. There is absolute safety in heaven, with no tears, no illness, no aches and pains, no sorrows or heartbreaks, no losses to mourn.  Our earthly fears originate from the lack of knowing that our Heaven Father is constantly watching over us. He sees all we do, and, in Heaven, all rewards are guaranteed.  Heaven is where Jesus lives and He is preparing our special place to live with Him there. It is a real place and our Father lives there.

All sorrow, disappointments from the past will be forgotten. We will be so over-awed by the magnitude of Heaven, earth will seem so small. We will have a transfigured mind and memory, purified thought and love, a transfigured body shining like a noon-day sun on a warm spring day, our eternal inheritance. All things will become new, and will be new always.

Heaven is a city beyond this life with close union to God, Jesus and each other. It is full, strong, magnificent, glorious, perfect. It will be full of vigor, like a deep river, fresh, inexhaustible, wide and buoyant. God's power and love will be seen and felt continually. The tree of life there will give fresh fruit frequently. A flow of energy will never subside.
There is an absence of every form of evil and the presence of every form of good. The Heavenly home, a place of grand glory, is an unspeakable joy.

Victoria Boyson had this vision of Heaven. Just a few excerpts from her article.
Visit her bog site at:
http://www.boyson.org/

"The Lord told me He had something He wanted to show me - I took his hand and suddenly I was in the spirit atop a great hill in heaven. He was happy to be able show me His favored landscape and the hills of His home. It was all so breathtaking. You could stand in one spot and look for miles in all directions enjoying the beautiful hills. He was pleased with my delight.

Then, we walked down the hill toward a grove of large trees. To my surprise, He showed me a tunnel formed by the trees that had grown there. They had grown intertwining together to form a tunnel that almost blocked out the light. It seemed endless and although we did not walk the distance of it, He told me it went all the way to the other side of the valley we were in. 

As we exited the tunnel, I saw a small pond near the grove of trees. I asked the Lord if we could stop and look at the fish - there were very large gold fish that were absolutely beautiful. I asked if I could hold one and as He agreed, a large fish came up to where I stood at the edge and stared up at me as if it were offering itself to me like a kitten or dog wanting to be held. Picking it up, I pet its golden scales as it looked up at me.

The Lord was happy I enjoyed it so much.It was this tremendous feeling of acceptance which seemed to overwhelm me. It was evident even in the animals, who had no fear. The people in heaven celebrated one another and each trusted in the knowledge they were not just tolerated, but were able to truly enjoy one another. Jesus was proud of this most of all - proud to show me the greatest treasure of His kingdom - love. And what a glorious treasure it is!"

Another interesting work is Heaven is for Real. It features a story of a child's experience in Heaven.  In it he says he met loved ones, a sister that died before birth and everyone was at their prime age and very attractive... everything there was at its best. He too said we knew what was going on in earth, and had influence there. Heaven is actively engaged with activities on earth. The Holy Spirit shoots power down on earth for circumstances as needed. This may very well be the great cloud of witnesses the Hebrew writer refers to... fight on for your great reward is guaranteed in Heaven. The Great Cloud of Witnesses who have gone before you are cheering you on.

Glory and bliss are all part of Heaven. It is not a boring place, but the ideal life of existence God has always meant for His creation. Live for Heaven... it is real and beautiful. The treasures you invest there will never lose value.

Blah Blah Blah... to writing a great story

by Dale Shumaker
4spirit@gmail.com

Blah Blah Blah is by Dan Roam, author of Back of the Napkin, leads us from just using words when we communicate, to vivid thinking and expressing. Every word we use has a picture connected to it by the person hearing the word. Take the word "fly." There are many different visual images that a mind can attach to fly... it's an insect, it's a plane trip, it's going fast.... When we clarify communication by using vivid images, we quickly direct the brain to the right path we intend.
We all can at least draw stick figures, using our best illustrating skills, even from the least skilled illustrator, we can get our point across more clearly. Blah, Blah Blah takes us from boring to taking the clutter out and sharpening it, from removing the fog to seeing the essence of the main idea, from clearing up misleading information to what it is intended to mean. The Blah Blah Blah is the boring, foggy, misleading that hinders vivid thinking.

Vivid thinking is the visual and the verbal being interdependent. It's creates words and pictures, contains words and pictures and explains everything using words and pictures.
When and where to use pictures to sharpen up words.Roam calls it vivid grammar.When you hear a noun draw a portrait, a picture of a person, even with stick figures.
When an adjective is about quantity, draw a chart to compare numbers, volume, the amount.
When it's a preposition, use a map to show its direction and relationship.
Is it past, present or future tense, use a timeline to show where it fits.
If the verb is complex, make a flow chart to show options of direction.
When you have a complex sentence draw a multivariable plot.
This one requires some explanation... a steak, with vegetables, water, and seasoning make a stew.
Show how the parts come together in what proportion to make the end result.
One note about Blah Blah Blah. This summary really doesn't do the concept justice. Only words are being used here, and his illustrations in the book will enhance your understanding way beyond what you read here. (Check his website, and book.)

Once you learn vivid grammar... using what kind of pictures, illustrations in place of which parts of grammar... Roam takes you into the forest. So if you can't see the forest for the trees in your communication, here's more guidelines.
The walk through the forest starts with...Form is determining if you are using all of the six vivid grammar parts well... portraits, charts, maps, timelines, flowchart, multivariable plot.
Only the essentials. Distill your idea down to the essentials, only the essentials.
Recognizable. Use visual metaphors from nature, life, the world people have seen before.Evolves. The idea should evolve. Nearly complete the idea so others can complete it. Connect the dots.Spans differences. Include the opposite of the idea. People can grasp the what from what it isn't, and seeing the difference.Targeted. It goes where the listening is inclined to go: the leader wants to know where it's going, the doer getting it done, the expert wants complexity, the newbie needs simplicity, the numbers personwants quantities, emotional person feelings.
Roam uses the hummingbird and fox to demonstrate how this works. The hummingbird likes to show you, the fox talks your arm off. We have both of these in our brains, but we seem to have more emphasis on the words. Vivid communication is a show and tell.

http://www.danroam.com/

What's in a great story?
Jesus is using our lives to build a great story through us. He is the Author and Perfecter of our Faith (Heb. 11:2). As a premier author, His story holds one's attention with plots and subplots through each day. Healings, dealing with naive disciples, and conniving religious leaders. Many following him, many what him leading their cause, many loving him in depths never known before, and many wanting to kill him. The story is a movie headliner... action, romance, intrigue, adventure, tension, conflict, mystery, excitement, laughter, heartbreak and uplifting joy.
Our lives are a great story too, that Jesus is writing. You see books that have the author's name as written, "by John The Author with Sam The Writer." We are a "by" "with" authorship. Your story "by" you "with" Jesus.
Bob Sorge in a presentation called "Jesus, the Consummate Author," impresses on us that our lives are a story of great intrigue. With life not being perfect, and working through highs and lows, challenges with victories, we have a great story with many fascinating subplots. He points out...
http://www.ihop.org/resources/2012/03/23/jesus-the-consummate-author/
(Bob Sorge, Oasis House Ministries)

If our lives were perfect and all things went well without any hitches, it would make quite a boring story. But with things moving along a merry road, and then all of a sudden injustice, surprises, unfulfilled visions, disappointments, then another surprise... it is going on the path of a great story. Plots, subplots with unexpected turn of events... it builds, grows, twists and turns. We enjoy a story that has an ending that surprises us, catches us off guard, creates curiosity on what will happen next. That's the average person's life. When God is with us, He works with us through all these facets of our lives.

He is building a story in us. A story we can tell others on how God so uniquely took us through all aspects, unexpectancies, disappointments, tragedies, complexities of our lives. A story that encourages others through our unexpected turn of events we can expect God to be with us and come through with a surprise, a twist, a fulfillment, and mission we never would have expected.
But the thing God is up to is building our faith. He is our author and He is the perfecter of our faith. The longer the answer waits to come, the more He is building faith. Abraham waited 40 years for his answer to the promise. The whole time, through ups and downs, hills and valleys, Abraham's faith grew strong. This timeline built Abraham's faith. The delay grew His faith.
It is in and through our story of ups and downs that our own faith is being strengthened. We become people of great faith through this, our life adventures, and with great faith we will see great things. A great cloud of witnesses are watching, people of great faith. Our faith becomes larger (great means large) so we become larger in our faith through the going through of all the hopes, disappointments, followed by new hope.
This is how God builds great faith. So as God builds great faith in us, His is also giving us a great story. With a great story others will listen with intrigue and curiosity about our lives... "well then, what happened next." So our life is a testimony, a story to share... we have a story of movie caliber, compelling attention, that others can see themselves as part of. Our faith is built... we believe and increase belief for the wonderful vision God has given us.
Sorge pointed out too that life growth is based on trajectory. We have hills and valleys, it goes up and down, sometimes within the same day. But over the course of time, we see a trajectory going up. It's not based on days, weeks, months, as much as years. When we look back over a year, and see how God has been building our lives. Ask yourself, "How has God changed my life from this time a year ago."
Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith. He is helping us write a great story for others, and is building our faith to become large in faith.

Inspired Mission Discovery ... Spirit empowering process.

by Dale Shumaker
4spirit@gmail.com

The inspired mission God has for you is discovered and empowered through His Spirit, that dwells in the Believer. What's the origin of all things and how God manufactures them.

It all Starts in Prayer,
Develops through Prayer,
and Continues through Prayer.

In the New Testament they always teamed up... 2 or 3 together going somewhere or doing something. They met in homes, journeyed together, went on mission efforts in teams.

Each lived and mastered personal discipline.
They inundated themselves with God's Word, Jesus' and the disciples' teachings along with the teachings of the prophets. They had a very disciplined prayer life. They continually thought about and reflected on God's Word, shared It with others, and lived it out through the Spirit. A life in Spirit directed them.

They connected in prayer.
They met frequently to pray and share what the Spirit was instructing them as well as their insights to the Scriptures. They would worship in songs and sharing with each other. In constant communication with each other, and in communion with each other and the Holy Spirit, they shared all things, their Spiritual gifts, insights.

So their routine was
Prayer... worship... the Scriptures and listening to what God was speaking to them.

They followed a process... which initiated Inspired thought, action; a Spirit-led lifestyle was a continual part of them.

The Inspired Process

While in prayer
A mission was revealed and purpose for their lives was established.

In prayer
They learned the details and specifics to their mission, and ideas were born.

In prayer
They received gifts of the Holy Spirit to Supernatural results for accomplishing their mission.

In prayer
As they met together, the power of agreement manifested, they grew in relationship and they saw expressions of Power. This happens when Believers unite in prayer and a Spirit of being one is birthed, all of the Greatness of Jesus is now part of this group.

In prayer
Strategies are presented by the Spirit. Divine Intelligence is received, cooperate action is designed around the gifts of the prayer team, while being orchestrated by the Spirit. They function like a well-conducted orchestra, many diverse parts and gifts synchronized in harmony as one beauty sound.

In prayer
Boldness and courage came over them. They took bold actions as directed by the Spirit bringing to completion the strategies given by the Spirit of God. Gifts of the Spirit are manifested and become self evident. Miracles happen, love abounds.

In prayer
We stay saturated by the Spirit as God directs us in all of our efforts. The Kingdom of God is birthed... functional, beautifully attractive.

It all happens in prayer through all phases of activity, as God directs and empowers, and fills everyone with His Love, living a life of satisfaction unmatched by anything else.

In short, it looks much like this...
each part preceded with prayer... unceasingly interacting with God's Spirit.

Pray it ... two or three united in prayer ... vision emerges
Find it ... idea discovery ... the mission
Expand it ... align gifts to accomplish mission ... gift discovery
Empower it ... back to prayer for God's empowering (mini-Pentecosts) ... Holy Spirit Endowment
Mobilize it ... proclaim and do it ... strategic directions emerge
Fulfill it ... coordinate actions ... enact systems and processes

“Prayer is the first thing, the second thing, and the third thing necessary for seeing the Mightiness of God. Pray, then, my dear friends, pray, pray, pray.” (Edward Payson)

"When God has something very great to accomplish, it is His will that what should precede it is the extraordinary prayers of His people." (Jonathan Edwards)

The 3rd Alternative ... With Christ in the School of Prayer

by Dale Shumaker
4spirit@gmail.com

The 3rd Alternative by Stephen R. Covey is moving from choosing your way or my way to finding a higher way. Our society is naturally competitive, so we are inclined to pick a winner, someone better than the other. The 3rd Alternative pushes the ideas of both sides to an idea better than the two. Then we win, and it's not a you or me decision.

The 3rd Alternative goes through a synergy process.
Synergy is when one plus one equals ten, a hundred, a thousand. Synergy is not compromise, but going beyond to something new. It's bigger or better than my way, your way, but our way.

In alternative thinking you pick one or the other. Those who aren't picked will continue to fight for their way. So it creates perpetual conflict and inertia. No progress is made. In a committee meeting, the congressional floor, the dinner table... conflicts increase. Compromises can be made, but quality does not increase.

To arrive at 3rd alternative thinking, it takes self awareness and valuing the difference of the point of view I represent, and understand that point of view thoroughly. Then it is possible to move on to synergy.

Synergy requires four conditions.
We must be genuine with ourselves and others.
Second, is accepting, caring for and prizing ourselves.
Third, empathize with and understand where the other person is coming from.
Fourth, is having a positive regard for the other person and myself and knowing what is going on in my heart and mind.

So the Paradigm is:
I See Myself
I see myself as a unique human being capable of independent judgement and action.
I See You
I see others as people instead of things.
I Seek you Out
Deliberating seek out conflicting views instead of avoiding or defending yourself against them.
I synergize with you.

This stage has some obstacles.
We must overcome the wall of opinions. When we do not seek to understand the point of view and be deliberate to find areas of conflict, we stall. Covey suggests the Talking Stick method. In the Indian Culture a talking stick was used to make treaties. The one holding a long walking stick, the talking stick, had the floor to explain their position. The other person could not speak until they had the talking stick. The rules were when talking the words had to be soft and warm and from the heart. They had to speak truthfully and wisely.

The emphasis was on empathetic communication, empathetic listening. It's a listening to understand, for content and the emotion of the person. As they would say, we should not criticize until we walk two moons in someone else's shoes. It's giving time to perceive the shoes the other is walking in. When you listen emphatically with another person, you give that personal psychological air. When that need is met, you then move forward and effectively enhance problem solving. So the cycle of I seek you out, I hear you, and the walls come down.

Then the fourth step evolves... I synergize with you. The 3rd Alternative is in motion for finding a solution better than either one of each others. It also prevents getting caught up in the cycle of attacking one another. The process of synergy is ask, define, create, arrive. Get to synergy
on purpose by following these steps.
1. Ask, "are you willing to go for a solution that is better than any of us have come up with."
2. Define the criteria of success. Ask, "what would better look like."
3. Create third alternatives. Experiment with possible solutions, creative prototypes, new frameworks, turning thinking upside down. We suspend judgement for a time.
4. Arrive at Synergy. We know when we are arriving at synergy when excitement begins to show up in the group. We keep working until we see that creative dynamism bursting forth.

Covey goes on to show how to apply this to work, home, school, law, society, the world, and life. Learn more at:
http://www.the3rdalternative.com/

With Christ in the School of Prayer is a leading classic by Andrew Murray on prayer. The alternatives for our lives the Holy Spirit gives are Divine alternatives with God's Power behind them. When we advance, knowing the Spirit of God directed it, we confidently know His Power goes with us. Here's some excerpts from With Christ in the School of Prayer.

The complete book is online at:
http://www.ccel.org/ccel/murray/prayer.toc.html

Our Teacher
‘Lord, teach us to pray.’ Yes, we feel the need now of being taught to pray. None can teach like Jesus, none but Jesus; therefore we call on Him, It is Jesus, praying Himself, who teaches to pray. He teaches, by breathing within us the very spirit of prayer, by living within us as the Great Intercessor. ...amidst our stammerings and fears He is carrying on His work most beautifully. He will breathe His own life, which is all prayer, into us." Jesus teaches us how to pray within prayer itself, so pray and Jesus will teach you.

True Worshippers
In prayer everything will depend on our understanding well and practicing the worship in spirit and truth. The man who would truly worship God, would find and know and possess and enjoy God, must be in harmony with Him. Worship in the spirit must come from God Himself. God is Spirit: He alone has Spirit to give. In accordance with the truth of God’s Word. And so worship in spirit is worship in truth; actual living fellowship with God, a real correspondence and harmony between the Father, who is a Spirit, and the child praying in the spirit.

Alone with God
"Every one must have some solitary spot where he can be alone with his God. The secrecy of the inner chamber and the closed door, the entire separation from all around us, where our spirit truly comes into contact with the Invisible One. Remember your Father is, and sees and hears in secret; go there and stay there, and go again from there in the confidence: He will recompense. Trust Him for it; depend upon Him: prayer to the Father cannot be vain; He will reward you openly."

The Model Prayer
"Our heavenly Teacher has given us the very words we are to take with us as we draw near to our Father. We have in them a form of prayer in which there breathe the freshness and fulness of the Eternal Life. So simple that the child can lisp it, so divinely rich that it comprehends all that God can give. A form of prayer that becomes the model and inspiration for all other prayer, and yet always draws us back to itself as the deepest utterance of our souls before our God."

The Prayer Model given by Jesus...
even a child can follow it, and we can.
Our outline of how to pray.

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

The Certainty of Answers to Prayer
"‘You shall receive, you shall find, it shall be opened unto you;’ and then gives as ground for such assurance the law of the kingdom: ‘He that asks, receives; he that seeks, finds; to him that knocks, it shall be opened.’ We cannot but feel how in this sixfold repetition He wants to impress deep on our minds this one truth, that we may and must most confidently expect an answer to our prayer."

‎"It is in prayer and its answer that the interchange of love between the Father and His child takes place. Every one that asks, receives.. Let us not make the feeble experiences of our unbelief the measure of what our faith may expect. Let us seek, not only just in our seasons of prayer, but at all times, to hold fast the joyful assurance: man’s prayer on earth and God’s answer in heaven are meant for each other. Let us trust Jesus to teach us so to pray, that the answer can come. He will do it, if we hold fast the word He gives today: ‘Ask, and you shall receive.’ "

Spend time alone with the Lord.
He will teach you as you worship him,
as He ministers to you,
you also receive His Answers, His Directions, His Power for you.

Great by Choice ... What is Prayer?

by Dale Shumaker
4spirit@gmail.com

Great by Choice by Jim Collins (author of Good to Great) answers the question,
"Why do some companies thrive in uncertainty, even chaos,
and others do not?"
His study included companies over a 15-plus year span who exceeded stock market results, even through turbulent times, uncontrollable events, beginning their rise to greatness from positions of vulnerability, being young and/or small at the start. These were 10X companies, companies who thrived while others like them with similar circumstances and industries did not. Their distinction was leading their industry index by 10 times.

They had some initial surprises, thinking they may be more risk takers although they were actually more disciplined, more empirical, and more paranoid. They were not distinctively innovated, but the 10Xers scaled innovations by blending creativity with discipline. At first they thought, they would find speedy, fast companies to keep pace with a fast world. Instead, it was a good way to get killed. 10Xers would figure out when to go fast and when not to. Radical change was not there either. 10Xers changed less in reaction to their changing world. To succeed you need a lot of good luck they thought initially, where the 10xers didn't generally have more luck in comparison to others.

What they did find with the 10Xers compared to their less successful companies.... the 10Xers were not more creative, visionary, charismatic, ambitious, blessed by luck, risk seeking, heroic, making big bold moves. They did have this triad of core behaviors:
fanatic discipline,
empirical creativity,
and productive paranoia.

Fanatic Discipline: displaying extreme consistency of action they were 20 mile marchers. Based on John Brown's 20 Mile March, they kept pace, 20 miles a day... not more, but on tough days relentless to make it the 20 miles. Performance was a discipline, keeping each day in a band of activity... not above the high bar, not below the low bar... but always in the band between bars. A good 20 Mile March uses performance markers along the way, self-imposed restraints, tailored to the enterprise and its environments, within your control to succeed, a Goldilocks time frame that is not too short or too long, designed and self imposed by the enterprise, that must be achieved with great consistency. A 20 Mile March wins because it builds confidence to win in adverse circumstances, reduces the risk of catastrophe when hit by turbulent times, and helps you exert self-control in an out-of-control environment.

Empirical creativity. Fire bullets then cannonballs. Discipline alone does not make greatness, but the combination of discipline with creativity. Blend creative intensity with relentless discipline so to amplify the creativity and not destroy it. When marrying operations excellence with innovation, you multiply the value of your creativity... that's what the 10Xers do. Don't use up all your gunpowder on a big cannonball at your target at first. If it misses you are out of ammunition. Shoot bullets, if you miss, recalibrate and shoot again until you know you are on target. Then make your cannonball. In other words don't use up your resources too early. Methodically, adjust until you know your are hitting the target you want. A bullet is low cost, low risk, and low distraction. When you know you can hit the target, make the cannonball acquisition, the big market move. So you follow a combination of activities. Fire bullets, assess if your bullet hit anything, do any bullets merit conversion to a cannonball, convert resources to fire a cannonball, don't fire uncalibrated cannonballs, terminate bullets that show no evidence of eventual success.

Productive paranoia: A business curve has good events and bad events, but never hit the death line. That's the line you hit where you can't return. Productive paranoia prepares for the unexpected( i.e., cash reserves) and bad luck before it happens, asymmetric risk and uncontrollable risk (manage time risk), and being hyper vigilant to sense changing conditions and respond effectively. It's being paranoid in good times and bad times, considering worst case scenarios and being ready for them if they happen. The 10Xers build buffers and shock absorbers to deal with unexpected events. Have the oxygen canisters ready. The 10Xers think first, even when they need to think fast. It's what you do before the storm hits that matters. They are extremely prudent in handling risk: death line risk that will terminate the business, asymmetric risk where the downside dwarfs the upside, uncontrollable risk which cannot be controlled or manage. Always be aware of the time you have and resources available.

The 10Xers followed the SMaC recipe... Specific, Methodical, and Consistent. SMaC is a set of practices more enduring than mere tactics. SMaC practices can last for decades across a wide range of circumstances. The signature of mediocrity is chronic inconsistency. Define specific, methodical and consistent practices for all areas of the business. These give clear guidance on what to do and what not to do. What should you do in all areas, with SMaC for each area, is a specific, methodical, and consistent list of practices. Managing the tension between consistency and change is one of the great challenges for any human enterprise. When you evaluate your SMaC for an area exercise empirical creativity (firing bullets not cannon balls), and exercise productive paranoia(zoom out, then zoom in). A detailed chapter worth reading in its entirety.

Where does luck come in the picture. The 10Xers, compared to similar businesses, did not get more good luck, less bad luck, good luck earlier on, or be defined by a giant spike. The difference that the 10Xers got was a high return on good luck. And the bad luck was not catastrophic, it didn't end the game. Many 10Xers credited much of their success to good luck, but they managed it well, and they made sure bad luck never set them back.

The greatest leaders they studied cared as much about values as victory, purpose as profit, and being useful as successful. We are not imprisoned by circumstances, luck, fairness, crushing setbacks, mistakes or our past success. We can only control a small sliver of what happens to us, but we are always free to choose.
More on Great by Choice at
http://www.jimcollins.com/

In any business venture, the power of prayer by two or more uniting in Spirit, brings results beyond natural events. It provides power to overcome challenges, and it keeps us humble when we have overwhelming victories. Prayer keeps us level and with God's Spirit in control.

The Biz Prayer Network, Facebook, features views and instructions on making prayer work, and understanding on what prayer is.
Here are some excerpts from the Biz Prayer Network.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Biz-Prayer-Network/26330243509

Prayer is entering His Inner Chamber. We, through Jesus the Christ, have the privilege to come directly into His most Holy Place and be with God, talk personally to Him, and have intimacy with Him. This is a heart-throbbing opportunity, a wonder, a joy of Living in constant relationship with God, The Spirit, and Jesus our Lord ( Andrew Murray).

"The word “prayer” really means “a wish directed towards,” that is, towards God. All that true prayer seeks is God Himself, for with Him we get all we need. Prayer is simply “the turning of the soul to God.” David describes it as the lifting up of the living soul to the living God. “Unto Thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.”( Psalm 25:1) (Unknown Christian)

In prayer God gives us His Inspired ideas; in prayer the Spirit directs us on strategies on how to carry out the ideas; in prayer we acquire the boldness, power, gifts to act on the ideas. When we move in faith, favor precedes us and the battle is carried out before us, and victory is being won before we walk in the door. Our faith is expressed in action, our victory won with the Spirit going before us. This is what God was saying to Joshua... be bold, be strong, for the Lord your God is with you. It all originates in prayer.

God deploys us to ask...."“Verily, verily I say unto you, he that believes on Me, the works that I do shall he also do; and greater works than these shall he do, ask in My name, that will I do ask whatsoever ye will, so shall ye be My disciples." These words are of such grave importance, and so momentous. He urges His disciples to obey His command “to ask.” In fact, He tells us that one sign of us being His “friends” will be the obedience to His commands in all things. (The Unknown Christian)

In your prayer time, and schedule a prayer time, take time to linger in His Presence. Praise, worship, worshipful music is good to have in the background. Speak affectionately to God, telling Jesus you love Him. Speak softly and slowly (this is an intimate time, so you don't need to be shouting to the Lord, now, i must admit that may have its time and place). Be brief and use short phrases to communicate as well as long speeches, speak minimally which is to listen more than talk.

Long speeches may do more for you than your prayer, but God understands. He is not into evaluating your technique in prayer. It's the sincerity of the heart that matters.

At times just be silent and rest in His Presence, with pauses between what you say. What pops in your brain at these times, may very well be the Lord speaking to you. Act on these impressions. Waiting on God has its value in this: it makes us strong in work for God. The second reveals the secret of this strength. ‘God works for Him who waits for Him.’ The waiting on God secures the working of God for us and in us, out of which our work must spring. The two passages teach the great lesson, that as waiting on God lies at the root of all true working for God, so working for God must be the fruit of all true waiting on Him (Andrew Murray).

How to Click with People ... creating power in relationships

by Dale Shumaker
4spirit@gmail.com

How to Click with People by Rick Kirschner teaches communications for the 21st Century mind... our ways of thinking, and styles of communication. Clicking starts with resonating. With some the vibes just line up. When we meet, the first thing we consider is are we blending... naturally copying the other person. We notice it in our gestures, stories, body language, space, rate of speech, tone and volume. When we see similarities, we begin to blend.

How do we become great at clicking?

Curiosity and appreciation of differences stir blending, and click-ability grows. Clean up your past and keep in the present. Treat everyone equally. People are drawn to a person who reflects fairness. Be attentive to what's important to the person, such as family, hobbies, culture, work. Exude personal warmth by welcoming people into your space, note their space preferences. Look at people and let them see warmth in your eyes, your voice. Hold the other person at the center of attention. Let them know that you care about them and why, and show that in your relationships with warmth.

Listen before you talk. Back track and repeat what they shared, ask the right questions. Dumb questions assume too much, ask too little, give advice too soon. Seek relevancy of a person's thoughts. Ask why something is important to the person, and reason for sharing it. Even if you know the answer, ask, and let them tell you.

Observe the personality style of the person and match it. Four major types of people include action-based people...they talk about doing; accuracy-based people... they relate specifics; approval-based people.. caring and consideration is part of their tone; appreciation-based people... it's about their value. Match the style and you will click.

Kirschner goes on to explain how we click with people of different motivations...he reveals six kinds of motivations which include values, rewards, challenge, esteem, purpose and feelings.

One area of most current relevance is how to click when using the phone, email, social media. When on the phone make sure it is the right timing, use the person's name, match voice volume, talking speed, speaking rhythm, and energy. When using email, remember that everyone gets a lot of them. And because it's so easy to respond quickly, to take care of it, we may respond in haste, not thinking through what we say. Also, a weakness of email is tone, voice texture, facial expressions are not evident which hinders expressing true meaning. On email, be polite, use the subject line, keep it as brief as possible, frame your message(clear and concise information), put out flames, never send to a group without permission and when you do keep email addresses private. Watch the funny stuff... some attempts at humor can easily backfire on email.

On to social media, some ways to increase chances of connecting include: ask for recommendations, ask for a referral, recommend someone else, make a referral, make a connections. Keep in mind these five rules for networking on social media: Don't spam your network, don't be a stranger, you get out what you put in, instead of asking for something offer something, take it slow.

Look for the emotional click signals. When someone shows appreciation, offers an opportunity, or gives us some much needed attention, we know she likes us and we generally return the favor. We click with people we find attractive, charismatic people, those who we treat with respect, with people we like. Send signals of affinity (I like you) by leading with similarities, treating a person with respect, letting the other person know you like them, being charming naturally, and holding good eye contact. We size people up by comparing them to people we already know. People respond to authority, that's having confidence in yourself and ideas.

When we know we are clicking with someone then is the time to share your ideas. Keep it short and simple, put the most important information upfront, be specific, don't tell them everything, focus on goals(not process), choose familiar words. Use examples and back what you say with numbers. When you make your point, then point forward by focusing attention on what to do and why to do it. Repetition with conviction empowers your idea. People don't get it when they hear it once. But hearing it again, but in different ways, enforces the clicking process.

More on how to click with people, overcoming stumbling blocks, group click, and to sharpen up doing what you do to click, click to Rick Kirschner's website, the art of change.
http://theartofchange.com/

In Ephesians 4, The Apostle Paul outlines principles for creating powerful relationships. When these are applied to how we do all things, we see powerful results. So powerful that we see it is the very Power of God at work.

2. "Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love." Some things about others irritate us. When we show tolerance to the quirky behavior of others, it strengthens us as a unit.

3. "Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace." Jesus also emphasized that the peace makers will be recognized as God's Children. Our true relationship with God is revealed by this characteristic. People who can forge peace are moved up to positions of leadership.

15. "We will speak the truth in love." This relates to being gentle and humble in how we say things.

25. "So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth." It is popular to put a spin on what we say, to divert people from the truth. To speak to deceive is a greatly disliked by God. "You will destroy those who tell lies. The Lord detests murderers and deceivers." (Psalm 5:6) We are not to be misleading, but we are to be genuine and honest. 26. “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." When we lose control of speaking kindly, we can do great damage. This principle is critically important to click with anyone, and foster strong relationships.

29. "Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." In some environments, abusive, coarse language is acceptable and even admired. It's ultimate impact is destruction of relationships and the diminishes the power of the group. The most life changing practice is to encourage everyone, everywhere, all the time. This builds strength and productive results... while increasing a spirit of unity, team identity.

31."Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

So The Apostle Paul concludes his comments to remind us that having bitterness in our attitudes, rage, anger and harsh words, telling lies about others and spreading rumors, brings destruction. It can ruin our work relationships, friendships, home, the community where it happens...in the office, small business, or at the home.

If you do these three things, you will have harmony, power, productive relationships... be kind, be tenderhearted in all circumstances, and forgive people when they do error.

Follow this and you will not only click and find favor with people, you will build strong teams and partnerships that will make your efforts succeed. Our Power rests within our unity, the strength of the bond between us. When it's cemented in Spirit, we are mighty in our efforts.