by Dale Shumaker
4spirit@gmail.com
Snakes in Suites advises us that if you have thought some people you work with are nuts you're probably right. More than that they may be psychopaths. The authors, Paul Babiak and Robert Hare, now show you what to look for and what you should do about it. Their theme is about psychopaths in the workplace. They are predators of positions of power, influence and control. The workplace is a perfect place to vent their venom.
Snakes in Suits has a diagnostic tool so you can identify these ruthless creatures out to entrap, control and use, and then, after they destroy their prey, insensitively discard their victims. The characteristics of these snakes in suits:
Interpersonally, the person is superficial, grandiose, and deceitful.
Affectively, the person lacks remorse, empathy and doesn't accept responsibility for his/her actions.
Lifestyle-wise, the person is impulsive, lacks goals and is irresponsible.
Their con centers around a highly charismatic, charming person who can quickly befriend you. Then take you on a ride to destroy you under the guise as one really trying to help you. They patronize you, woo you, gain your loyalty--just to them-- and then abuse you in every possible way. They know your hot buttons and become masters in how to push them… manipulation and control is their branded talent.
Here's how they go about it:
Assessment Phase. They size you up and figure out their con game just for you. It is a game to them as they lack a conscience and they play by their own rules. They are skillful parasites and suck the very life out of you, lack empathy, feelings or remorse or guilt. They need considerable novel stimulation to keep them from getting bored. You are always on a joy ride with them...it’s their joy ride and for you the joy diminishes more and more as it goes along. Their grandiose sense of self importance leads them to believe others are there for them... they see it as a "gift" to let others support them in their grand lifestyle endeavors. They figure out how to work you and work the system… whatever system they are in.
Manipulative Phase.
They create a shroud of charm and deceit--psychopathic bestselling fiction writers. They gain trust through their charming abilities. Their lying skills snow the best, building trust in their unsuspecting victims, who, truly at first, admire them.
Abandonment Phase.
The psychopath builds you up greater than life, gets you feeling like you have been best of friends forever. Then when they see they got you, they begin tearing you down to build a co-dependency with them... alone. They try to make you believe that they are your best source of life and hope. They systematically break you down, they get what they want from you, making you feel it is to your own best interest to do it their way. After they bleed you, they throw you away.
Emotionally psychopaths "know the words, but don't know the music." They have no feeling, don't understand feeling and only learn it... by observing what other people do when feeling certain ways. They copy and re-enact what they see others do in "emotional" expressions which they don't have. Most of their relationships are short-term. Then they seek other unsuspecting victims who don't really know them, so they can again charm them into their coil.
The Red Flags
How to spot the snake's head rising.
--Inability to form a team. They prefer one-on-one control to maneuver their prey against each other.
--Inability to share. They isolate information so they can avoid being find out.
--Disparate treatment of staff. They have favorites. They seduce these favorites to aid and abet in their diabolical actions.
--Inability to tell the truth. They can be caught lying when not necessary.
--Inability to be modest. They will promote their importance.
--Inability to accept blame. It's always someone else's problem, fault.
--Inability to act predictability. It keeps things fun for them and keeps others off balance... a subtle method to stay in control.
--Inability to react calmly. They can go ballistic… or raging inside but out of the camera view of others.
--Inability to act without aggression. They bully people, and use intimidation craftily.
The authors suggest to watch for the signs, avoid bonding, and get out of their game. Don't be embarrassed if caught in their snare. The best have been fooled by them.They are masters at deception. Get out of their clutches as fast as you can, as smoothly as you can in a non-confrontational way.
The authors caution that many people may have some of these characteristics... and they may not be psychopaths. They may be just narcissist, manipulative-controlling, calculating jerks…. mad dogs in the corridors of business.
Here’s another article about psychopathic tendencies in the work arena.
http://www2.gol.com/users/coynerhm/corporate_psychos_blend_in_well.htm
In the marketplace, in communities, in homes evil lurks all around to find the innocent, naive, spiritually un-wise with the motive to web them into their snare.
Jesus warned that evil will pose as good and try to seduce you to their thinking and then destroy you. Beware of false prophets he said. They come in sheep's clothing but they are really ferocious wolves inside with a goal to tear you to shreds. (Matt. 7:15)
“Many” will appear and deceive “many” people. (Matt. 24:11)
They will falsely represent themselves as "Christ-like, good people” and even have extraordinary accomplishments and do miracles....and say “look at all the miracles and great accomplishments we have to our credit." (Mark 13:22)
They are evil, pose as good, and are quite convincing with their charade. Paul the Apostle and Peter the Apostle issued similar warnings.
Paul said they loved themselves, were prideful and loved their money… having it, getting it, and spending it lavishly. They are unloving, unforgiving, slander nice people, have no self control and have no interest in what is truly good. They will befriend you but then betray you, are cruel, very proud and love pleasure more than God. Worse yet, they even act religious doing noble-appearing things to look good.
To them, it’s all about looks. But they don't live by Christ’s power but relish in their own cleaver, sneaky ways.They will share grandiose visions and dreams they have. Saying they are from God. Do extravagant things so they look good. They love the praises of men about how good they are. But it’s all a game to them. (2 Timothy 3)
Peter said they are fakes posing as Christians disguising their greed. They are selfish, with their own self deception…their own lies. . They make up stories and boast about how great they are in doing such wonderful things for God. They want to win you over in following their grand projects.
What they are really after is using your talents to get what they want. It could be your money, ideas, or what you have in Spirit that they can get from you and they don’t have.
Internally, they are always lusting for more, they despise true authority, are proud, arrogant and discredit people who are really trying to do right. They are like wild animals following their ravenous instincts.They lure needy people into their clutches, and make them greedy just like they are. They promise freedom when they themselves are slaves to their own carnal instincts, greed and sumptuous indulgences. (2 Peter 2)
“Their judgment is based on this fact: The light from heaven came into the world, but they loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. They hate the light because they want to sin in the darkness. They stay away from the light for fear their sins will be exposed and they will be punished. But those who do what is right come to the light gladly, so everyone can see that they are doing what God wants." (John 3:19-21, NLT)
Jesus said, “You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart. And I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgment day of every idle word you speak. The words you say now reflect your fate then; either you will be justified by them or you will be condemned." (Matthew 12: 34-37, NLT)
And in the end, they will be destroyed... and those who choose to listen to them. “For this lawlessness is already at work secretly, and it will remain secret until the one who is holding it backsteps out of the way. Then the man of lawlessness will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will consume with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. This evil man will come to do the work of Satan with counterfeit power and signs and miracles. He will use every kind of wicked deception to fool those who are on their way to destruction because they refuse to believe the truth that would save them. So God will send great deception upon them, and they will believe all these lies. Then they will be condemned for not believing the truth and enjoying the evil they do." (2 Thess. 2:8, NLT)
What should you do?
Paul says simply to stay away from them. Get away from them if you find yourself being lured into their cleaver schemes. Peter says to continue to live holy, Godly lives. Stay pure and blameless before God and man. Many falsely accuse you... trying to make what is really good look really bad.
His Light in you will expose them. “Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them…And where your light shines, it will expose their evil deeds.” (Ephesians 5:11-14, NLT)
Stay pure and blameless before God and in His Presence allow His Spirit to continue to wash you clean of imperfections you may have. Keep your faith in Christ, not in man's endorsement. Rely on His Power and Promises. Live close to God and remain in His Presence, allow His presence to shine through you, to show His light of love as you live in His love, staying gentle, tenderhearted, and forgiving.
Avoid collaborating, partnering, client and employee relationships with snakes in biz garb. They will suck the life out of you.
So Beware! Some people who act nice aren’t nice at all.
In the business world,
watch for their attitudes, their choice of words;
watch, listen closely…
they will give themselves away.
Be wise,
be observant,
listen to your heart,
and don’t get sucked into their snare.
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