Give and Take ... giving has many returns

by Dale Shumaker 
4spirit@gmail.com
www.spiritsavvy.net

Give and Take by Adam Grant is for those who want to make it in life and make their business work. It's about being a taker or a giver. In the past it seemed a person had to be a taker to advance his life and career. Adam Grant, in his book backed by extensive research, is finding the opposite. Those who are givers run past those who are takers in the long run. He says most people function as takers, matchers, or givers. Takers strive to get as much as they can from others. Matchers try to trade evenly. Givers are a new rare breed of people who contribute to others expecting nothing in return.

As he expands his givers theme into networking, collaborating, influence, negotiation, and leadership skills, he cautions a person to watch for those who look like givers, but really are takers.
Takers have a distinctive signature. They like to get more than what they give. They tilt reciprocity in their own favor, putting their own interests ahead of others. They believe the world is competitive, a dog-eat-dog place. They feel they must be better than anyone else, be self-promoting, and make sure they get plenty of credit for their efforts. Many think if they don't look out for themselves no one else will.

Givers give more than what they get. Instead of using people to see what they can get from them like a taker, they are other focused... giving more attention to what other people need from them. Both givers and takes may give to charities, but the givers don't do it just to make themselves look good, but out of more genuine concern for a cause. Givers generally strive to be generous in sharing their time, energy, knowledge, skills, ideas and connections with others who can benefit from them.  

Matchers operate on the premise of fairness. A matcher seeks reciprocity but that it's equal for all concerned. 

Takers favor wealth, power, pleasure and winning (doing better than others). Givers have their priorities as helpfulness, responsibility, social justice and compassion.

When takers build networks they try to build as much value for them. Givers try to expand the pie so everyone can get a larger slice. When a person gives, it influences the whole group to want to be givers. It's a contagious attitude that ripples through the whole organization.

A leader's belief in someone becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for the person. A study showed that when someone believes someone is gifted, talented or superior in a quality, the leaders show an affirming attitude to a person. The person then performs better in the area in which the leader believes he is good at.
Givers don't wait for signs of potential. Being trusting and optimistic, givers see potential in everyone.

Powerless communication is a trait of the giver. In contrast, in many business venues it seems power communication is advocated, a favorite of the takers. Two fundamental paths to communication are dominance and prestige. When we establish dominance others see us as strong, powerful, authoritative. With prestige we earn the respect of others. Takers excel in creating dominance.

Whereas, the powerless style to the giver also has proven to establish prestige. Givers are more inclined to asking questions than offering answers, talking more tentatively than boldly, admitting weaknesses than displaying their strengths, seeking advice than imposing their views. In the long run, these forms of "powerless communication" prove to be powerful.

Takers use powerful speech being assertive and direct. Givers use more powerless speech... using hesitations as "well...." Hedges as " probably, sorta". Disclaimers as " this may not be a great idea..." Tags as " that's interesting, isn't it." Intensifiers as " really, quite." The givers style is more likely to build rapport and trust. By being more vulnerable, they bring more into their point of view. This makes them then more powerful as there is more authentic buy-in.

Givers who can maintain self-interest, while being selfless with others, maintain emotional balance and do not experience burn out. Meaningfulness is associated more with the giver than taker. With this in place people work harder, longer, smarter, and more effectively while feeling a sense of happiness.

A giver can be a door mat for takers, although givers show a greater judge of people and learn self preservation. Their finesse as givers eventually wins out as they can enlist more to their point of view because of building more trust and rapport with others. 

Grant has in-depth studies to back up his findings. It's a great book for those who appreciate exhaustive studies... that givers give. There's a lot more there, so see his website:
http://www.giveandtake.com/

Jesus said give and it will be given to you... and it would come back in much greater degrees that you give. It's a Spiritual principle that works everywhere, in about every situation. It's a natural law but also a Spiritual principle, which will do more than we can imagine.
We don't know how this works in Spirit. A small seed can yield a tree that has many pieces of fruit and all the pieces of fruit has many seeds in them. When we give in love, unselfishly, we see great returns in Spirit.

We all live for happiness. We get much satisfaction when we can give our gifts away. It is indeed more a blessing to give than receive. When we give we have an increased sense of well-being in what we do.

Be kind to everyone and give kindness to those who mistreat us. In the long run, even a greedy person is affected by someone's generosity. It can penetrate his heart. The heart is the most powerful force to change another person's heart, their attitude, their outlook on life.

What you give comes back many times in the same form. You give money, more money comes to you. Give love and more love comes your way. Give friendship and you gain many friends. What you give comes back in a similar way in most cases.

So what you do, the Spiritual principle as explained by Jesus about giving, should not be done with great fanfare. It should be done quietly and discreetly. God knows what you give and He will reward you... either in the near-term, or the long-term, or in the forever. Giving always comes back in bigger ways and measures more than what we give. 

"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full ...pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” Jesus said this in Luke 6:38.

What you sow you will reap to the level and degree you sow. Be a giver... it won't fail you.